Rate my story 1-10?

I'm only 14 and this is my first attempt at a story:

Kari stepped into the library amid rows and rows of books. It was her favorite place in the world, and she could sit by the window and watch for her best friend, Cloe to arrive on the bus. It was her first day of school for the year, and she was wearing a hooded sweat shirt that had 鈥淓xco鈥?emblazoned on the front in pink letters with small rhinestones on it. Underneath the white sweatshirt she had a plain pink tank top, exactly the shade of the letters. Her pants matched too. They were jeans, with flared legs, and pink squiggles on the back pockets. She had put her hair up in a messy bun with some hair sticking out, and her bangs parted to the side.

鈥淗ey.鈥?br> Kari jumped up and turned around, than stood up.

鈥淥h, hi.鈥?br> 鈥淵ou look good,鈥?Cloe said, examining her friend.

鈥淣o I don鈥檛. I didn鈥檛 loose any weight over the summer.鈥?br> 鈥淥h well, you still look awesome. Where did you get those pants, they鈥檙e so cute!

鈥淎t Urban Trends. They were the last pair and lucky for me they were in my size, so I bought them.鈥?br> 鈥淟ucky.鈥?br> 鈥淚 know, but you look better then me.鈥?br> It was in Kari鈥檚 opinion. Cloe was wearing a pair of jeans with lines of multicolored thread on the back pockets. Her shirt was a light, pastel green, which looked really good with her jeans. Her usually bushy brown hair was sleek, shiny and stright today, and over the summer she had put blonde highlights in it.

鈥淣o I don鈥檛. Have you seen Andrew?鈥?br> 鈥淣o,鈥?Kari remarked, sadly. 鈥淎t least you can get a boyfriend. And a popular one, too.鈥?br> 鈥淒on鈥檛 worry, you鈥檒l find someone. Maybe Zach will ask you out. You said her did in grade seven?鈥?br> 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think so. He鈥檚 going out with Zoie.鈥?br> 鈥淭hat prep? She doesn鈥檛 seem like his type.鈥?br> 鈥淚 know, but, oh well, I鈥檒l find someone.

鈥淗ey,鈥?Andrew said, stepping up behind Cloe and wrapping his arms around her. He was everything you鈥檇 want in a boy friend鈥?tall, dark hair, hot, and popular. He got in invited to a almost every party, and took Cloe with him. More than once Kari had got a phone call asking her to get her seventeen year old brother, Jamie to go pick them up because Andrew was too drunk to drive.

Today Andrew was had on a plol shirt and a pair of regular colored jeans....

If you want to hear the rest of what I鈥檝e got do far, leave your email address in your message, or email me:)

Rate my story 1-10?

HI. It's really good. You've got great descriptions and detail. Also, it flows and reads nicely. The story sounds like teen literature which is really popular right now. I love writing too and just wanted to let you know that this is really a great start. Keep up the good work. I'd give this a ten.

Rate my story 1-10?

8/10 good story...

Rate my story 1-10?

9 OUTTA 10!!!

NO ONES PERFECT!!~

AWSOME KEEP IT UP U GOT NATURAL TALENT!!~

Hope I Helped~

~FUZZ~

Rate my story 1-10?

You are 14 - I give you an 8.

Rate my story 1-10?

boring you go into too much detail on what people are wearing; focus more on dialogue

6/10

Rate my story 1-10?

its pretty good like teenage romance novel kinda good lol :]

the details on the outfit a bit too intricate where the reader is then oblivious to the fact that they're reading a story not someones journal..

other than that, good :]

ninee

Rate my story 1-10?

I must say, I dislike the out and out descriptions of what the characters are wearing/what they look like. I think to improve the story, you should fill in the details here and there. Mention one detail at a time. Since Cloe comments on Kari's pants, describe those, but not her entire outfit.

I do like the speaking voices of the characters, they sound real.

How old are the characters supposed to be? I think they are in high school, but bear in mind that many high school students don't party. Many do, though, and I would refrain from mentioning that Andrew often got too drunk to drive unless it's a plot point.

From what I've read, I'd rate 7/10. It's got potential, but it needs work. Proofread, rework, have fun!